Thursday, April 30, 2009

Derek In Vegas

Here is the weekend itinerary. Where and when to see Derek this weekend in Las Vegas at the Luxor Hotel.

Friday, May 1st
Party the night away with Derek and Hot Chocolate at Club Piranha

Saturday, May 2nd
Brunch at T&T Restaurant at 11am at the Luxor Hotel
(Joining Derek for brunch? Email him to reserve your seat. Space is limited!)

Party the night away with Derek at Krave Las Vegas

Sunday, May 3rd
WEN Pool Party from 2-6pm at the South Pool at the Luxor Hotel

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

I'm Back Bitches!!


Hey Bitches,

First I want to thank everyone for their incredible support with their emails and the donations to the PayPal Donation Account that Romaine set up for me to get a new MacBook. I haven't bought a new computer as of yet, but an amazing listener Trucker Ray contacted me and said I could use his old Windows laptop until I get a new Mac. I want to thank you all for your generosity, you bitches are amazing.

I also received a Facebook message from Ross Mathews today asking me to let all you bitches know that his show Inside Dish will be posting the episode when he visited Derek and Romaine in studio last week. He said it should post around 2:00pm PST. Go check it out, he is one of the funniest gays in show business. Also, Ross will be on the RFamilyVacations cruise this summer along with Derek and Romaine and a ton of the listener bitches. The big gay ship sails July 11th - 18th out of Seattle, WA, if you can come, a good time will be had by all.

Well bitches, I have to say, it's good to be back and I am looking forward to getting back to blogging for the show. I will be having some special posts in the coming days including a tell all by Kristen(tm) letting everyone know what really happened during her time with Michelle in SF, it should be riviting. Later Bitches.

Trucker James

Friday, April 24, 2009

Romaine has been a bad girl.

So what else is new? I promised to set up a pay pal account that listeners could donate to if they wanted to help Trucker James raise funds to buy a new computer after he was robbed of his at gun point. I started to get it all set up today and then I thought it was actually better if James set it up so the funds go directly into his account rather then me having to send them to him later. Then I thought well if I don't get it set up Derek is going to yell at me on the air tonight. Then I thought I should just call Trucker James to see what he preffered. I realized after coming up with this plan that I don't have his phone number. So I sent Michelle from San Fran an txt message because I know she has his phone number. She didn't txt me back. So here I sit. And just now I realized this little nugget of information: How is Trucker James going to set up the Pay Pal donations account if he doesn't have a computer because his was stolen at gun point? And yes, I realize that sentence was a run on. Derek should have fun with that along with all the other errors. Okay, so after all that shit I am going to go set up that Pay Pal account now.

Now for an excersise in Romaine's computer skills...below should be the donations link to make a donation!

Trucker James Donation Page!

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

My Perspective (From My Drug Induced State)

OH MY GOD!!!! Here I was sitting in my recliner in my Vicodin haze watching a rerun of Project Runway and not paying attention to the time when Low Gear calls me.

"Are you listening to DNR," she asks, and I said, "no; didn't realize it was already show time."

"Trucker James got robbed last night and he is talking about it on air," she said.

So, I hoisted myself out of the chair and tried to hook up the car radio in the house and couldn't get a signal. I got out the trusty laptop and went to listen online. These days, however, it is no longer free. You have to pay an extra $2.99 a month to listen online. Well, bitches, being the loyal listener that I am, I had no choice but to whip out the trusty credit card and sign up.

When I finally got the show up, Jamie Kennedy Wannabe: A Hollywood Experimentwas just ending his interview so I won't be blogging about it except to say you can catch him on the "Ghost Whisperer" on CBS, Friday nights at 8pm or at www.jamiekennedyworld.com.
What I want to know, though, is a ghost whisperer anything like a dildo whisperer? I don't know, but I can't imagine Romaine would enjoy talking to dead penises or dead vagina's!



Then, you lucky bitches, you got to hear my drug induced ramblings for a few minutes.

Then Derek and Romaine took a little walk down memory lane to the time when Derek helped out the "Whatever Girls" when Jennifer had to leave early and Derek cohosted with Alexis. Derek says Alexis likes him best.


Michael Lucas of Lucas Entertainment; www.lucasentertainment.com; or www.lucasblog.com, was the next guest. He has a new series of fetish films out including, "CUM", "FARTS " (all farts were created through pumping air into asses, not waiting for normal ones), "FEET" and "PISS" as well as two films "ripped from the headlines", "Wall Street" and "Entrapment". Michael then had some callers, including Trucker Darren with an underwear fetish, Chuck in Ohio who likes dirty, stinky sweaty feet, Darren in Oregon who is into African American Men pissing. John called wondering about Michael appearing to smoke in some films when he purports to be antismoking and our own hot mess, sounding disturbingly coherent and focused, Ryan in Connecticut talking about a "New York" magazine article about Michael's rise the hard way (no pun intended-well maybe just a 5 inch one, not a 10 inch one) through hard work and the American Dream!

Michael states he likes to do films featuring New York City, because he has lived there for 12 years and considers himself a "New Yorker".

Okay, bitches-"America's Top Model" is on and then "American Idol" and I don't have a DVR or Tivo, so this is it for me, tonight. See ya tomorrow! Hugs - Trucker Patti

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Voice Your Opinion about Miss California USA




Hey Bitches, there were a ton of calls that Derek and Romaine didn't get to during tonight's Happy Hour talking about Perez Hilton's question to Miss California during the Miss USA pageant. Take the time to post your opinion.

I have a couple of problems with her answers. She says "Well, I think it's great Americans are able to choose one or the other, we live in a land that you can choose same-sex marriage or opposite marriage." Let's talk about this statement.. EXCUSE ME? Last I checked, I can't CHOOSE to go to the city hall in Atlanta and marry my boyfriend (If I had one). I know there are many GLBT people in this country that would like to have the same ability to marry the person they love and can't. What America is she living in? Can we all move there?

Listen Bitches, the question was about "her opinion" and she is welcome to it. As we all know opinions are like assholes, but just like back after Prop 8 passed and we found out about El Coyote's owner/manager donating $100 against us, Perez (Mario) has a right, no fuck that, an obligation to use his vote to make sure this ignorant cheerleader doesn't get a platform to spout her anti-gay shit to the rest of the world.

Sure, Miss California is now going to be the new spokesperson for christianity in this country for the next few days, but like all christian beauty queens, she will end up under a desk of some executive or in a prostitution scandal with some pastor somewhere (oh wait, she's a woman, nevermind).

I'm sorry bitches I haven't been posting as much, work has been kicking my ass lately and I haven't been able to listen to the entire show to do a recap. If there is anyone interested in being a guest listener blogger for a week (or maybe longer), email Derek@DerekHartley.com, he will let you know. Good night bitches.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Cash And Carry On!


This is what is wrong with America. They had to put change next to the cash register at the Hale and Hearty salad place. Because people don't know how much a fucking quarter is anymore! WTF?!

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Wednesday's Show


Hey Bitches...During the Koffee Klatch it was all about mothers, Derek's mother called in to tell all that she would love to live with Derek (except that he lives where there is a winter) and how low maintenance (uh-huh) he would be to live with.  It was quite a treat to hear the original Mommie Dearest.  Romaine's mom is driving her crazy (except she takes good care of little Romie and doesn't charge), Iris's scary, manipulative, born again mother sent her flowers with a "Jesus Loves You" message reeking of innuendo.  Derek's advice was to send a lovely thank you picture of the family with a message:  "Yes, we know Jesus loves our alternative family, thank you."  Jen in FL suggested that Betty send Iris's mother a personal letter trying to get her to see the err of her ways, and Lori in San Antonio (Iris's mother's hometown), called in to say that her parents haven been douches to her and her long time partner saying that she is not welcome anywhere near them, but her partner's family is very loving and accepting.  That's just sad that we have to deal with our own families being like this, all these mother fuckers need a trip to a PFLAG meeting.


In the second hour Eyal Feldman of Boy Butter Lubes joined The Bitches bearing gifts and giving us four new upcoming products including Boy Butter Boner, a natural "Cialis-like" 36-hour enhancing product , Boy Butter Warming (there are flames on the bottle), the Boy Butter Extreme H20 Desensitizing Lube and their first dildo that is coming out, it is a hardwood dildo shaped like a butter churn (that's definitely different). Also during his visit Eyal said the first 50 listeners that went to BoyButter.com and sent in a message mentioning the show would receive a very nice Boy Butter product, not to worry, if you're not in the first 50, he will mail out free samples (I love free shit, don't you?)

In the second hour Romaine accused Derek of having a crush on Father Dave from The Catholic Channel, Sirius 159 & XM Channel 117. I have posted a picture of Father Dave (he's kinda hot), I personally think Derek is just chasing around Father Dave hoping that he falls off the Priest wagon right in to his arms. What do you bitches think? (I can't help but look at the microphone and get excited).


The Dildo Whisperer was a little bit slow tonight, but the highlights were Eric the bottom calling in to say he broke up with a guy after 10 years because he was afraid his ass was getting too loose and wanted to know how to tighten up his hole (alum?) so he doesn't end up to be an old guy in diapers. Romaine suggested Betty's Barbells or the Kegelsizer anal workout systems available at Babeland.com. Kim called and asked what strap on would be good to take her "penis virgin" girlfriends' cherry, Romaine again suggested Babeland.com to search for double-headed dildos so they both have a good time. Charles in Las Vegas called to say that his partner's anus is still as tight as the first time he fucked it 17 years ago (TMI?)


During the XXX Showcase, The Bitches were joined by porn reviewer J.C. Adams of GayPornTimes.com. They lamented the passing of gay porn icon Jack Wrangler from emphysema (it was a sad day), and the deaths of leather and BDSM porn star Steve Pierce and interracial porn pioneer Marilyn Chambers. They also talked about the Advocate's recent cover story entitled "Porn Panic" discussing the current economic climate and its effect on the porn industry and how they are dealing with the slowdown in DVD sales by now releasing most of their content on their websites first.

It was a very exciting Desperately Fucking Angry tonight that lasted nearly all of the last hour of the show. Perennial lesbian dramatist and lesbian cop fetishist Robin in CA called in saying her first experience with an actual lady in blue ended badly and wanted to complain about every other lesbian in the world. Romaine pointed out that the common denominator was Robin herself and that she might want to look in the mirror for the problem (touche). Dan in CT is pissed off openly gay Representative Barney Frank is teaming up with PETA and The Humane Society to try to take his ass gerbil away. Kevin from the Island called in to say that Barney Frank could pry his pet birds from his cold dead hands. 25 year old gay virgin Adam in CA called in to say that his therapist is trying to force him to finally get laid, he also admitted to having a problem lying (Adam stay in therapy). Enrrrrique in CA was slightly miffed that his new boyfriend zipped up Enrique's foreskin into his zipper (I feel faint now) during public sex trying to avoid a cop ( I wonder if Robin got turned on hearing there was a cop?). David in MD first asked The Bitches "how they are doing" and the call dwindled into a Ryan in CT style nonsensical rambling of trouble units, high roads and underdogs. The call was a mess, but not in the adorable Ryan way and ended with a much needed dial tone. Speaking of the devil, Ryan was next with his own rambling and nonsensical rant about Mommie Dearest (now available on DVD), not getting a prize for something he did, lesbian neighbors, (at this point Katie interrupted to let Derek and Romaine know he got a free t-shirt earlier in the show) and with that, he also received the coveted dial tone. Then it became a dial tone party with Chad, Bush in TN, Jeremiah (and his mother), Dave in Saskatchewan and many others being dispatched mostly before they could even speak. It was truly hilarious. The show ended with a classic clip of some no-name, no talent gay singer confronting Derek for saying he was "acting like a diva" and being banned from the show (even more hilarious than the first time).

Well, that's it bitches, see you soon.

Trucker James

Monday, April 13, 2009

Derek in a swimsuit. A two piece?



So if you've been listening over the past two shows - not counting Friday's reru...I mean, "Best of" you have heard about the opportunity to win a trip to see Derek at Vegas Pride this year. I highly recommend not entering. You have no chance of winning and I'm pretty sure that when I read the details, its a trip to Vegas, Iraq. And they hate <> there.

In the Monday Mailbag (which I always thought should have been called The Male Sac) Romaine told us about the email she received from Jeremiah and how he had been targeted by some of the listeners. I don't understand why anyone attacked Jeremiah. It just seems wrong.


Romaine shared that she also thought it was wrong to attack a listener. She stated how it made her feel bad that someone would be targeted.

Um...one question Romaine:

How do you justify that position with the "Suck It Stanton" campaign that you spearheaded? The repetitive, mean-spirited attack on a lone (very cute) listener all alone in his cubicle. Enlisting hoards of minions to your dark mission to wear me down. Just when I would start to put the shreds of my self-esteem together someone would yell out that painful phrase and tear me down again-leaving me broken and battered (mmm... battered)- a shell of the man I once was. It hurt my feelings.

Both of them.
And if were were going to target any listener we should start with GM.



Last week Hedda was on with her top 10 list of things you shouldn't have in your home. Here's mine:


10.Pleated pants

9. Fat free cheese

8. The unattractive

7. Two and a Half Men

6. Fluorescent lighting

5. Cheap liquor

4. Time Warner

3. The morning show

2. Crocs

1. My mother

The exboyfriend seen above had to be kicked to the curb for being a backseat driver.

Friday, April 10, 2009

DNR Listener Profile - Ryan in Connecticut


Hey Bitches, I figured with Derek and Romaine's taking a day off, I'd do something fun. Interview a regular caller just to give you that DNR fix that you need (it is just like heroine isn't it?). First I had to think of who to interview and write about, so I asked my listener friends who they wanted to know about. The overwhelming answer to that question was Ryan in CT. Trucker Patti wanted to know if he's really the big hot mess he sounds like when he calls. Michelle in SF said the he's the most popular caller that we don't know much about and Lowgear compared him to the radio equivalent of a train wreck that you just couldn't stop listening to. I asked Ryan if he would mind being the focus of little project and he jumped at the idea (I think to just find a man). I called him up earlier in the week and spend 3 1/2 hours on the phone with our little crazy (I am still exhausted from that) and I expected that when I was done I could to a Barbara Walters' style question and answer interview to keep you on the edge of you seat. Well, needless to say, that wasn't possible. If I tried to do an interview format, it would read like a stream of consciousness style Rosie O'Donnell blog that even I couldn't possibly make out, so I'm just going to tell you about Ryan.



Ryan, The Early Years

Ryan was grew up in Springfield, MA and was born in 1981, yes bitches, that makes him chicken (28). He was the youngest of 3, he has one brother and one sister that are considerably older than he is, so he's always been the baby at home. He doesn't consider himself to be a Mama's Boy or Daddy's Little Girl or cop to being a spoiled little brat (denial ain't just a river in Egypt). Ryan was diagnosed with ADHD when he was very young (duh!), but has really achieved a lot with such a difficult condition. He was an FFA Agriculture student (Mistress Sam, he knows how to grow pot!!!) in high school after his family moved to a very, very, very nice part of Connecticut (he has some very big celebrity neighbors). After graduating high school he went back to Massachusetts to study Marketing at the American International College where many of his family had gone before. While in college Ryan realized that he liked to suck dick and became AIC's first openly gay RA (I said openly). This proved rather difficult for Ryan as he had many cousins and other family members (I honestly couldn't keep track he had so many) at the school. Well, this became a problem because Ryan's grandmother (who lived in the area) was the head of a very large local company and was very much a devout Catholic and pillar of the community (who couldn't have a gay grandson, denial ain't just a river in Egypt). Ryan endured abuse from his family members at the school when he came out, he was pissed on and had shit left on his dorm room door, he was called a "Fucking Faggot" among other gay slurs by his family members on campus. Ryan persevered however (not after trying to run over a homophobic cousin with his car), and graduated from college and moved back to Connecticut with his parents.



Fashion Designer, Paramedic, Cancer Patient, Fashion Designer, Substitute Teacher, Nursing Student

After young Ryan graduated and moved back home, he was faced with some issues. His very prominent father who is the local director of a national organization also didn't like the idea of an out and proud gay son. His mother, a nurse has always tried to be supportive of Ryan even though her Catholic ideals make it difficult. Ryan decided that he needed in embrace his inner queer and follow his dream to be the next fashion designer that Heidi Klum said Auf Wiedersehen to on Project Runway, so he moved to Savannah, GA and entered design school. Ryan left fashion design school after a while and moved back home to live with his parents (honestly, I'm not sure why) and decided he wanted to be a Paramedic. He went to college to be an EMT, right before he was to go back and get his first level of education to be a Medic, he was at the gym one day and felt a lump in his neck. Well, being educated in the medical field (and a little bit of a hypochondriac) Ryan had a needle biopsy and discovered he had Stage 3 Papillary Cancer, at this point Ryan dropped everything in his life, quit school and "felt like a failure". He immediately went in to treatment with an oncologist and was told he had to have two Modified Radical Neck Resections within three weeks of each other. These operations not only left some pretty sever physical scars on his neck, but also some emotional scars that he still carries around today. Ryan returned to Fashion Design school late last year, decided it wasn't for him, now he would like to be an Oncology Nurse to help people going through the same things he has been through. Ryan works as a substitute teacher in the mean time.



Ryan Since He Discovered Derek and Romaine

Ryan first listened to The Bitches in November of 2007, he was hooked. He even remembered his first call in date it was February 6th, 2008 to call in to What's Your Gay Problem to ask Derek and Romaine how to deal with his childhood best friend wanting him to put his life (cancer treatments included) on hold for her big, lavish Portuguese wedding. He has become a very (at least once every show) caller to the show and his favorite segments are Desperately Fucking Angry and What's Your Gay Problem (they might as well be the same segment to him because his calls always have elements of both), and delights everyone listening with the sounds of incoherence and drama that the world loves to listen to. Ryan admitted that he calls the show as an outlet to express what he can't when he is around his family. Most recently he was upset because he couldn't understand why Romaine and some listeners thought his family was rich, well, let's examine the evidence, Ryan's father's family has what Ryan himself referred to as a "Family Compound" (Kennedy's anyone?) in MA, his mom and dad have a vacation home near PTown, he explained that is parents have always paid for whatever schooling he went to because they were encouraging him to follow his dreams (Ah, nice parents, except for his dad not wanting him to "wear his homosexuality on his sleeve"). Ryan and I came to an agreement that his family is Connecticut Upper Middle Class, which anywhere else in the country would be considered loaded, or just plain Wasps. (take your pic). Ryan loves when Erik Rhodes guest hosts (they are kindred hot mess spirits), loves when Trucker Patti calls in because she seems so nice and genuine and hates when a caller whose name rhymes with Vagina(miah) calls in because his voice is like nails on a chalk board, and he loves Derek and Romaine because they will actually take his calls.


What can I say bitches, talking to Ryan was a pleasure, you know the old saying, if you think your problems are bad, listen to someone else's. After chatting with Ryan I realized he does have a short attention span (like a coked-up squirrel) but really does have a heart of gold. He is currently in treatment for his cancer and has two radiation treatments left, he is hopefull about going into remission and making a full recovery. Ryan would like to meet a guy (even long distance), says his ideal date is cooking dinner with someone, a long walk on the beach at his parent's beach house, experimenting with spanking, S&M, bondage, food play, tit play, ball stretchers, etc. (JT's Stockroom.com type things). Ryan is "Versatile Top" (Bottom), will do anything he can for a guy he is dating, and is comfortable taking up to 12"(his words). He is an equal opportunity whore (my words, but he didn't complain) and doesn't want to sound desperate, but really needs a boyfriend. He is interested in many types (anything from Twink to Silverdaddy, no matter the distance (major cities with airports, please). You can reach Ryan by email at BigJockCandy@aol.com, his Facebook page (it says Alex, not Ryan, that's because Ryan is a huge Guiding Light fan and secretly wants to be Alexandra Spaulding, true story), you can find him on Match.com under the profile name BigJockCandy27, at Bear411 called CrazySexyApollo, or his new blog OneFatMess.com. I will now leave you with my favorite quote during my time talking to every one's favorite Hot Mess, he described himself as "Classy in the streets, and slutty in the sheets". What more could anyone want? Enjoy.

Trucker James

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH, GM FROM PHILLY!

Okay-I had intended on just staying quiet about this whole "GM" thing, but after his comment on Trucker James' latest blog, I just couldn't keep my fingers still! WAKE UP AND SMELL THE REALITY, GM!!!!! You got too obsessed with DNR. You didn't like what Derek or Romaine was saying about your radio show. Not a big deal, they were giving you their professional opinion and you just do not have the maturity to deal with it! I removed you from my friend's list because you were too obsessed about DNR and not getting what you wanted and just like any little kid who does not get what they wanted, you were in the middle of a big hissy fit. I do not have the time, nor am I inclined to deal with all your drama. GET OVER IT AND GET ON WITH YOUR LIFE!!

You said something about wanting only what James and Michelle and whoever had with Derek and Romaine, but those relationships took years and personal meetings to develop! You are new to the show and just because you did some guest blogging all of a sudden you have all these demands! IT DOES NOT WORK THAT WAY. GROWN UPS WORK AT AND DEVELOP RELATIONSHIPS.

Now, be a good little boy and learn from this experience. Look for a topic for a radio show, hone your skills on blogspot radio, go to school and get some professional education and GROW THE FUCK UP!!! This is the best and kindest advice I can give you and I think that underneath your obsessive and compulsive exterior, there might just be a sweet kid lurking. I hope so.

Great blog as always, James! I tell you when I talk to you what I think of what you write, but just to show little GM that I can write a nice comment, here it is. You entertain and inform me and I appreciate you-Hugs - Trucker Patti

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Gay Cars, Dramatic Lesbians and Stalker Listeners, OH MY!

Hey Bitches,

Thursday's Koffee Klatch was full of fun phone calls like Michelle in SF calling in to say she IS NOT (not that she doesn't try) sleeping with K-Hole, even though their Facebook wall postings make them sound like Ellen and Portia (or Anne Heche). Kristen herself called in and it seems like she was asking Romaine for her permission to have sex with Michelle (I see a Lesbian Drama Part 3 coming soon). We learned that ADD Jeff likes to spank one out from time to time on the Official DNR Chatroom, (I don't see a problem with this because I saw a pic of Jeff on his blog, he's fucking cute!). Mistress Sam made us laugh and laugh by not remembering the plane that crashed in the Hudson River two months ago and thinking Jeffrey and Dean, two callers that had not called in for two years were Olympic Ice Dancing Champions Torville and Dean. (420? Anyone). Then Derek went on a dial tone spree dispatching Ray in Philly for asking for them to become The Frank DeCaro Show, Trucker Sharon was set free by Romaine, and then Jeff in GA earned the dial tone, just for fun (isn't that the best).



The second hour of the show was all about cars, The Bitches were joined on the phone by Chris Borroni-Bird, the Director of Advanced Technology Vehicle Concepts for General Motors. He talked (with a British accent, yum) about the new Chevy Volt and the GM and Segway's concept PUMA, two very fuel efficient vehicles that are upcoming from GM (too bad neither one will be affordable to the average person). Then Joe & Joe from GayWheels.com were in studio talking about the results of their GLBT Automotive Survey. Toyota and Saab (too bad they're going out of business) top this list along with Subaru (go figure), Volkswagen, Audi and Scion. I personally found out reading the survey that my last 5 cars were all from companies that aren't gay friendly. We had some great calls talking about everything from Hydrogen Fuel Vehicles to the best car for a 6'7" bottom.





In the third hour Derek talked about these pictures of horses with hair extensions that he saw on Andy Towle's blog Towleroad.com then we had some strange and fun gay problems for the What's Your Gay Problem segment. Jim from Indy wrote in to say that he has an out and proud gay son that is very unruly and throws a hissy fit if his dad tries to talk to him during American Idol or Chelsea Lately, he always wants money, is disrespectful and threatens to either cut his dad's throat or pull the plug in the future. Derek's advice was to assert his authority, mine is to bend that little fag over your knee and show him what it's like to be a toddler with his ass on fire. (and not in the good way). Scott called in with a problem, he picked up a hot guy, rimming his ass for hours and ended up with an infection (hepatitis anyone?), that sent Romaine into telling us that her brother Sabin also enjoys rimming and ended up with two parasites from eating a guys ass. Joan in MS called in to The Bitches to ask if she should come out while her conservative parents are paying for medical school, their advice was to sit tight and at graduation, hug her parents and say "I'm a lesbian, a big one". Jason in VA got in trouble at work for saying his fax number ended in NUTS (6887) and tried to blame Derek, and finally, Ryan in CT called in to plug is listener profile that I am doing for tomorrow (shameless whore) and to unintelligibly (Mistress Sam's description) complain about Pedro, Starbucks and Canada (whatever the hell that means) it was just good ol' Bi Polar Ryan.



Former Queer Eye For The Straight Guy, Jai Rodriguez was supposed to talk to The Bitches to talk about his Animal Planet reality TV Show, Groomer Has It and it's upcoming second season, but had crappy cell phone service, so I'll plug it for him here.


In the Happy Hour there was a lot of talk about shit. Derek changed his constitutional, Romaine takes her dumps at night, ADD Jeff goes in the morning and before bed, it was disturbing, and of course, this started a flood of calls about coffee enemas and good bowel health, and also led to Tammy calling in requesting Poopin' In The Shower, which The Bitches obliged with the recorded version. After the first break, we were treated to a classic moment of Derek and Romaine for the 6th anniversary month, the clip was from 2006 and was former intern Crisco licking Dr. Victoria Z's dominatrix stilettos. It looked like it was going to be a nice and easy ending to the show when calls got scary. First we had our own former contributor here on the show blog G.M. in Philly showing his ass to the world, calling The Bitches "two-faced" and complaining they wouldn't put him on air during Romaine's birthday to sing for her. It was really sad, there's not much to say other than that. I was aware that there was some drama going on with him last week when the anti-DNR website and blog and the multiple negative Facebook postings were swirling around. The next day I noticed that he was deleted as a contributor here on the site and I started hearing some things from the grapevine that he was full-on stalker. This is a good example as to why Derek and Romaine have the rules. Sad people with no lives become obsessed with actors, singers, politicians, and yes, even gay radio show hosts. SAD! Then there was Mark in Minneapolis who couldn't bother listening for the CHHHH sound to let him know he could talk, instead he was a douche and sat in silence wasting much of the last few seconds of the show because he was mislabeled Mark in Indianapolis, Damn, with all the noise in the background when Sam, Greg or an intern takes a call there are going to be some mistakes, get over it and DON'T BE SO SENSITIVE!!. Last Call was our beloved Stanton in Austin asking for his very own hang up button for freaks like GM in Philly. Damn Stanton, wasn't getting a dedicated number enough? Next you'll be asking for Derek's job.

Well, that's it bitches, the end of the show, Derek and Romaine have a three day weekend this week to enjoy the Easter Holiday, so there won't be a show tomorrow, but you can look forward to my first Listener Profile of Ryan of CT and you can see what a truly hot mess he really is.

Good Night Bitches.

Trucker James

Better Late Than Never - Wednesday's Show

Hey Bitches, sorry for the delay in getting Wednesday's show recap up, but I was stuck in Oklahomo without a broadband signal.


During Koffee Klatch, Derek and Romaine were joined by 2003's Survivor: Amazon winner Jenna Morasca letting us know that not only can she cut someone's throat (Survivor-style) that she can also kick some ass on TNA Wrestling's "TNA iMPACT", every Thrusday night at 9:00pm E.T. on SpikeTV. There was quite a disturbing conversation (for the gay boys) about women's bush. We learned that Jenna herself is shaved clean and there was talk about other women's being toothpick thin, overgrown, Hitler's moustache, etc...Sorry Lesbians, I had to tune out before I passed out.


During the second hour we were treated to a special treat when author, sex educator, activist, (oh, the list just goes on and on) Carol Queen joined The Dildo Whisperer with Romaine. Dishing out sex and sex toy advice for the masses. Carol is also an owner at Good Vibrations one of Romaine's favorite sex stores. Due to work, I didn't get to listen to very many of the calls, sorry about that bitches.



For the third hour The Bitches were joined by the UBERHOT Ken Hunt owner of Steel Gym in NYC. He had some wonderful advice for many of the listeners about diet, working out, and what not to do if you're trying to get in shape. He says to stay away from caffeine and soda and fast food if you really want to do the easiest thing to lose weight and get into shape. Our own crazy caller Ryan in CT sounded remarkably together when asking how to deal with being a night owl and keeping a good diet. Derek and Romaine also had some great advice for the trucker listeners like walk for 10 minutes everytime you get out of the truck and buy some rubber exercise bands and use those to get into better shape with resistance training.



During The Happy Hour, it was Desperately Fucking Angry: The Show Addition, The Bitches took angry calls about what the listeners don't like about the show and the normal angry calls as well. Most importantly, there was a DFA call about the National Organization for Marriage's new commercial that is going to be played on major networks in New York, New Jersey, New Hamphire and Maine. Use your voice and call your local affiliates where it's being played and complain, this shitty propaganda doesn't need to be aired. There were a lot of calls (I was driving and couldn't keep track of names) who didn't like that Derek and Romaine use foul language (i.e. Cunt, Fuck, Shit, you get the idea). There was a call who complained about Falcon Exclusive Erik Rhodes talking about drugs and alcohol during his guest co-host spot last week. (what is with all of the stick in the mud listeners since the XM simulcast?) There was a caller who was angry that he and his partner have a child and he gets sick of being asked "how much it (the baby) cost?" or "who is the mommy?" Well, I don't even know what to say about that, this must be the downside of the "Gaybie Boom". My own favorite bitch Lowgear had the Last Call defending Erik Rhodes (she secretly wants to strap one on and bend him over) and telling The Bitches that they should drink more.

That's it bitches, sorry my blog isn't as timely or complete, but I do have to work (I was on vacation last time)

Trucker James

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Win A Trip To Vegas!

Hey bitches!

CLICK HERE to enter to win a trip to Las Vegas over Vegas Pride Weekend (May 1-4) at the fabulous Luxor Hotel. You get to spend the weekend hanging out with me at the Luxor and being my personal guest at the Sunday Pride Pool Party. Must be 21 or over and a resident of the continental US, blah blah blah, all the official rules are here. So enter to win! I hope to see you there.

derek

ps Don't forget to check out Luxor.com/lgbt for great deals on rooms and more at the Luxor Hotel pride weekend and all summer long!

Tuesday Night's Show Recap


Hey Bitches, it is midnight and I have to be up at 0400 to deliver, so this is going to be a short entry, sorry for that, I spent the night doing something very special for DNRShow.net for Friday that I will announce on tomorrow's show.

In the first hour, we had a very, very special treat. Tom Lennon who plays Lt. Jim Dangle on Comedy Central's hit show Reno911! called in to talk about the 6th season of the show and his current movies I Love You Man and 17 Again. This was a real treat for me as I have a little bit of a crush on Lt. Dangle, those long creamy white legs, those Ray Ban aviators, mmm, but I digress. Check out the new season on Comedy Central.



In the second hour, Jeremy Blacklow from AccessHollywood.com came by to dish the dirt on celebrities for Tabloid Tuesday. We found out the Linday Lohan and Samantha Ronson are kuput, and just like lesbians, court protection orders are involved (watch it Michelle and Kristen, this is your future). We heard about Zac Efron's amazing abs, Madonna's inability to become Angelina Jolie and adopt every child in Africa, Miley Cyrus and her quest to be a mainstream movie star, and did I mention Zac Efron's amazing abs?

The incomparable Hedda Lettuce joined Derek and Romaine in studio for the whole third hour to tell all of us the 10 Things You Should NOT Have In Your House. The original Green One (no I'm not talking about the Hulk) was out to take pesticides, air fresheners, plastic bags and anti-bacterial products that are not evironmentally friendly off our shelves and replace them with green, eco-friendly, non carcinogenic products that will make us healthier and be better for the environment. However, Romaine had different ideas and decided none of Hedda's advice was for her.



Honestly, The Happy Hour was a little bit of a yawn tonight, there was no dramatic callers, no crazies (even Ryan in CT's crazy assed calls seem commonplace now), no listener trash talk or dial tones for anyone who couldn't follow the rules. It was unfortunate 'cause that's the shit I like to write about. WHERE WERE YOU ALL? It sucks to not comment on you? Romaine did say that she is not on the rag this week, she is only angry because Iris did not have anything to say to Romaine after she came back from being away for five days at the Dinah Shore Weekend.(Ah, poor Romaine).

Anyway Bitches, my gay ass is tired and off to bed, see you tomorrow.

Trucker James

Monday, April 6, 2009

Lesbian Wishes and U-Haul Dreams


Hey Bitches, I AM BACK!!! Have you missed me? I hope so, first I want to thank Trucker Patti for the awesome job she did guest blogging last week, wow, that is one chick with some cajones (in a box somewhere). Yes Bitches, the picture is me with my Sirius hat and yes that is Mr. Derek Hartley's arm, LOL

Anyway, the show was great tonight, Romaine regailed us with tales of slutty lesbians, the monumental and completely appropriate slighting of "The L Word" creator Eileen Chaiken for being such a douche for how she ended the series, and the near-death experiences at her live broadcast with Doria Biddle at The Dinah Shore Weekend. It was truly riviting (if you were a lesbian). Honestly, the first three hours were really uneventful, the real action started in The Happy Hour when Romaine gave us the skinny on our own Michelle in S.F. and her gorgeous friend Kristen, otherwise known as K-Hole (I wonder why) from Boston. They have apparently been hooking up on Facebook for sometime now (at least 15 minutes, you know lesbians) because Kristen flew out to go to Dinah and somehow ended up going on with Michelle back to Mecca. At some point during the conversation Derek said (and I quote) "Emotionally unstable goes to visit emotionally unstable for an unspecified amount of time..." Romaine commented that there was definitely some crying by one or both of our newlyweds on the way back to SF. Well, some little birdie (or a big fat truck driver) texted Michelle to let her know that her ears or vagina was burning. That is when the hysteria ensued, Michelle called in to defend her sanity (short conversation) and she implied that Kristen, indeed, was the lesbian traveling across the west listening to the Indigo Girls in a tearful scene reminiscent of the movie Boys On The Side. Then the old K-Hole herself awoke from her nicotine and booze craving slumber to come on the line and be quickly dispatched by Derek because she was actually kinda boring to listen to. I think The Bitches (large B) should start a pool for the bitches (small b) to bet on when the city of San Francisco will be leveled by a nuclear dyke drama explosion alla Godzilla vs. Lezbozilla, maybe there will be a Derek and Romaine prize pack for the person who most closely guesses the date and time. Whatever the outcome, it should be a very, very entertaining time for all.

We also tonight had The Monday Mailbag in which Mike from MA shredded fellow listener Jeremiah in IN for well, basically breathing. Derek and Romaine did not take kindly to the badmouthing of the gay problem gold mine Jeremiah and dispatched him with a dial tone. (My personal animosity towards Jeremiah comes from when he spent a couple days last year to call and complain to other shows on OutQ about the lovely DNR former intern Katie, I haven't really been a fan of his since, and neither has anyone else). Then our lovable schizofrentic Ryan in CT called and one of the bad personalities in his head took over and it was all down hill from there, the call ended with Romaine giving him the dial tone for saying last week that Derek was his favorite host. SuperFag (with a surprisingly deep voice tonight) called to say how much he enjoyed being a lesbian for the weekend at Dinah and then Jeremiah (even more shrill than normal) called to say he lost 30lbs (must have been in the testicles). To end the evening out we had a call from Larry who had some harsh words for the Bitches saying one of them was living off a dead person and blah, blah, blah. You know what Larry, FUCK YOU!!! Derek only bought a TV with that money!! He's living off his AOL stock! Larry, shut the fuck up, you're an idiot.

Well, that's it bitches, I hope you enjoyed Lesbian Drama Part 2. If Michelle in SF reads this I have some info for you, it's 1-800-GO-UHAUL and if Kristen reads this, your info is Orbitz.com for your plane ticket back to sanity.

Bye Bitches.

Trucker James

Laramie Project Round Up!


Here are the links you need for everything related to the Laramie Project Special and the GLAAD Awards:

1. The Special: Download the special FREE now at SiriusOutQ.com (available in four parts)


3. The Red Carpet: See DNR interviewed by Access Hollywood.

4. Donate: Please give to the Matthew Shepard Foundation to support their on-going efforts to end hate crimes.

PHOTO Credits: © 2009 Jamie McCarthy/WireImage and Dimitrios Kambouris/WireImage

Friday, April 3, 2009

FROM MY PERSPECTIVE-TRUCKER PATTI-Doria and Romaine Show



Hey Bitches! With all the material I have tried to digest between the Frank DeCaro Show featuring Derek Hartley and the Doria and Romaine Show, I had decided to give each show their own post.

The Doria and Romaine show started off with some half naked unknown drunk lesbians trying to put on headsets and talk on the radio! It ended with Romaine's friend Kristen from Boston and Michelle from San Francisco, both feeling no pain, with some lesbians they picked up but did not have sex with trying to put on the headphones and talk on the radio. THOSE CRAZY LESBIANS AT THE DINAH!!!!!!!

I called the show and told Romaine and Doria that with everything going on in the lobby of the Riviera Hotel in Palm Springs, California, this year's home of the Dinah, that Doria should have memoed me about what would be happening. She is too busy having fun and there were some hints that maybe she had imbibed too much last night! So, what follows is a list of the people that I could discern would be there at the Dinah; some would be interviewed, some would not!

This is the list, as best as I can figure out: Katy Perry, the girls from IT Originals, Lady GaGa, the Indigo Girls, Jill Bennett (Cathy Debuono's girl), Shawnee Parkins, Leisha Haley, Elizabeth Keener, Paige Hurwitz, who was doing a documentary about different women coming to the Dinah, and the GLAAD award winning J.D. DiSalvatore.

The three interviews I was most interested in were my two favorite lesbionic stand up comics, Suzanne Westenhoefer, www.suzannew.com, and Margaret Cho, www.margaretcho.com, and an absoultely fabulous movie star that I fell in love with in the movie "Out at the Wedding", Cathy Debuono, www.cathydebuono.com. I heard each one of these interviews and was not disappointed by any of them. Doria and Romaine, you ask all the same questions I would. However, I was on hold to say high to Cathy (that is, if I didn't hyperventilate the minute she said "hi", however, I did not get that chance and don't know if I am disappointed or relieved! At one or two places during the interviews, Doria's attention really wandered as she could not help but peruse hot girls!

I am not sure it is such a good idea to set Romaine and Doria loose by themselves again, even with Greg the cupcake as a chaperone! THE BROKE THE HOTEL AND ALMOST KILLED LEISHA HALEY!!! Well, that might be a bit of an exaggeration. What really happened was that the girls got a major blow job by the desert winds and said wind sent an awning into a skylight that rained glass down on our girls, who, thankfully were not injured. The maintenance man showed up with a ladder and a roll of duct tape and the show went on. How practical-just like a lesbian!

The list of callers, to the best of my memory, which as discussed in an earlier blog, is not the best, were Superfag, who was shuttling lesbians all over Palm Springs, Trucker Rober, spouting football, which really perked up Suzanne Westenhoefer's girl, Jen, who is sports mad, Jarrod, Jeremiah, Trucker Sharon and this is where my memory fades-sorry if I missed you, bitches!

There was one lesbian who called whose name I did not catch, that totally outed Frank and mistakes he made on his show without Doria there! I will not repeat them, however. I am not a snitch!

Another caller wanted to know if the lesbians were hotter at the Dinah, or the Michigan Women's Festival and all the girls agreed it was the Dinah. To many back to nature, hairy lesbians in Michigan!

It was obvious that our "lesbians on the loose" were having a fabulous time and would continue to do so during the rest of the weekend. Romaine will be strutting her stuff on the runway at the fashion show Saturday night and on Sunday is the celesbian dodge ball game which both of our intrepid adventurers will be involved in. The one thing that truly concerns me about the dodgeball game, however, is the participation of my beloved Suzanne Westenhoefer. The woman just gets injured to easily. BE CAREFUL, SUZANNE!!!!!!!!!

Maybe I will get to go next year instead of just blogging about it. See Ya Bitches-Love and Hugs - Trucker Patti

FROM MY PERSPECTIVE-TRUCKER PATTI-Frank DeCaro Show Featuring Derek Hartley



Hey Bitches! With all the material I have tried to digest between the Frank DeCaro Show featuring Derek Hartley and the Doria and Romaine Show, I had decided to give each show their own post.

I said in my blog about the Doria and Romaine Show that I would not say anything about the mistakes made on the Frank show, so I won't say a word about the fact that the show started off with no intro and then Frank trying to sing, LOL!

First of all, bitches, I am a terrible note taker as any of my college professors would have told you, if they weren't DED dead! I have a note that Frank slept in NNRT, whatever that means.

What I could understand, though, is that a caller gave information about a Bear gathering in Erie, PA at a water park this weekend. It is called Drenched Fur and it was agreed by all that donations for whoever has to clean out the drains at the waterpark after the bears are gone, should be collected!

Another thing I won't say one word about is how Frank got on the phone with Lisa Arcella with Ok Magazine! She talked about the rumor that John Mayer might be gay and mentioned that 22 year old Linsay Lohan was looking over thirty. Derek interjected his formula for looking young, because we all know he is almost 40 and looks 27. The formula was first introduced in the move "Gremlins". It was told to the new owners of a gremlin called Gizmo (my very own puppy who looked like Gizmo as a baby, is named for this gremlin) when they were giving instructions for care and feeding. It is simple. Do not get wet, do not go out in the sun and do not eat after midnight!

Unfortunately, since I have to work for a living, I missed most of Bob Saget's interview, having to be out of the truck. I do know, however, that the goody two shoes Dad in "Full House" is actually a bit of a dirty bird in real life!

Derek admitted that he is running low on DNR show decals, so you better get one while he still has them. Poor Certifiable had his truck vandalized and the show signs he had made for the Frank DeCaro Show and the DNR Show were messed up. All I can say is "Those stupid, unenlightened, ignorant, moronic, CRETINS who did such a terrible thing!

Doria and Romaine called in and it appears there is already footage of Doria partying on gay wired, but I couldn't find it. Our poor Doria did, however, have a shopping incident! She stumbled into Liz Claiborn at the Outlet Malls and thought she had wandered into a plus size shop. Liz Claiborn is so not your style, Doria. She got the hell out of there, traumatized and made it into True Religion!

Our favorite hot mess from the DNR show, called the Frank DeCaro Show, featuring Derek Hartley. That's right, our Ryan in Connecticut called the Frank show for the first time and admitted he was starting to like Derek more than Romaine, because Derek was helping him be, OH HORROR OF HORRORS, sane! Say it isn't so, Ryan!

There is a note to myself about "Blazing Saddles" being a truly funny movie, which I agree with, but can't remember why I wrote it.

I am blogged out Bitches - Love and Hugs - Patti

FROM MY PERSPECTIVE-TRUCKER PATTI-Contact Me

I want to thank Derek and Romaine for giving me the chance to blog. It has been a very interesting experience and really hard work! If they let me, I will come back from time to time and blog some more. I don't think it will be for a week straight, though! If you are interested in trans issues or want to know more about me, you can e-mail me at "truckerpatti@gmail.com."

Thanks for reading me and for my 15 seconds of fame. Love and Hugs - Trucker Patti

DNR on AccessHollywood.com!

Click the photo to see Derek and Romaine interviewed by Access Hollywood on the red carpet at the GLAAD Awards.



So even though gay media didn't think they were worth covering, the "straight" media was there! Thanks, AccessHollywood.com! Don't forget to download the special "The Laramie Project Ten Years Later: The Lasting Legacy Of Matthew Shepard" now at SiriusOutQ.com.
Photo credit: © 2009 Dimitrios Kambouris/WireImage. All Rights Reserved

Thursday, April 2, 2009

FROM MY PERSPECTIVE-TRUCKER PATTI

Erik Rhodes Oh!, be still my heart! Falcon exclusive Erik Rhodes has arrived! I don't know whether I want to kidnap him, put him in my truck and make him my personal sex slave, or adopt him and nurture him! Maybe a little bit of both but probably more toward the nurturing side, given my advanced age! I wanted to scream at the first caller who did not know our Erik and who is an aficionado of bareback porn-yuck! I will take Falcon films with condoms, any day of the week.

Romaine and Greg the cupcake are winging their way to Palm Springs and I am so looking forward to tomorrow night's DNR (Doria and Romain) Show, live from the Dinah! How will our very straight Greg deal with all those half naked, drunk lesbians??? Or, how will his girlfriend Dawn deal with it?

Filling in for Greg, is the wonderful and very talented Katy, former intern and driving force behind the GLAAD award winning "THE LARAMIE PROJECT: 10 YEARS LATER – THE LASTING LEGACY OF MATTHEW SHEPARD."

There was a food person on, but I tried not to listen, because I was afraid it would make me hungry! It was Sue Torres www.suenosnyc.com!

Michael Lucas had a bit of a melt down on stage at the VN's because of Brett Corrigan who lied about his age and started at 17 and who has now been winning awards. Janice Dickenson did not even come on until 2 hours into the program and just told bad jokes. Erik and his boyfriend got consigned to the cheap seats while the rest of Falcon sat up front (I think he got bumped for someone's date!)! Erik thought our own Derek and Romaine did a much better job hosting the awards last year. I am sure he is right!

Gay problems-Brian looking for a trans hookup-referred him to www.Susans.org

Trucker Robert is still looking for the music!

Are all lesbians homely-I think not!!!

Ryan's problem this week has to do with fit and fresh containers. He is starting a blog about fat people. We love our hot mess! Give up soda, Ryan!

I have to agree with Derek-Joel in South Carolina-being the other woman with a man married to a woman is a train wreck waiting to happen! People will be hurt-BIG TIME!!! Being HIV positive is no excuse! GET OUT, GET OUT, GET OUT!!!!

Still hung up on an old love? Derek says, "have sex with strangers!"

Erik has a gay problem! It's called a "boyfriend!"

Josh Kilmer-Purcell and Dr. Brent Ridge from Beekman 1802, www.beekman1802.com, a shared experiment in seasonal living, were guests and Derek immediately started talking about his very cute house in upstate New York complete with flowers, deer and a dead tree! You like goat cheese. Blah, blah, blah! We want more Erik!!!

We didn't get more Erik-they talked about goats and gardens and then the GLAAD awards leaving Erik out completely! Poor Erik was nodding off at the microphone!

OMG! Is there a gay FLDS cult in upstate New York??? Say it isn't so!!!!!!!!

Britney and KFed-who cares? Erik is precious when he sleeps and he eats cheeseburgers-that, I care about!

There was a discussion about a ban against straight women having their bachlorette parties at gay bars in Chicago. Some were for, some were against, but my perspective is that, bottom line, it is tacky! When all of us can get married, not just some of us, then the bachlorette parties can come back!

At this point in the show, the truck who I had to swap loads with, showed up at the truckstop I was sitting at and since I was receiving a hot load, I missed the rest of the show.

Happy Fucking Friday, bitches!

The Men Of Buckleroos

April is anniversary month on DNR and we will be celebrating all month long with classic moments from the past six years! It's insane to think the show has been on that long. Trucker Patti mentioned a classic moment played yesterday from October 18, 2005 with the men of Buckleroos, a massive GayVN winning DVD from Colt Studio. That visit spawned Derek (and Romaine's voice) to be in Big Rig the following year.

Here is a photo of DNR with Owen Hawk (back when he was kind of a twink), sexy Zak Spears (with the deep voice) and Derek clutching DESPERATELY to Dean Phoenix who was so shy on the air to talk but not so shy when it came to the ass eating:


More photos from that show are available here on Romaine's personal website. There will be more classic moments throughout the month of April and next Friday the 10th (aka Good Friday) the show will rebroadcast the entire two year anniversary show from April 2005! It was a great show filled with classic moments, songs, surprise guests dropping by and Barcardi booze. The best anniversary show ever! So if you are new to DNR, this month is your chance to catch up on everything you have missed.

FROM MY PERSPECTIVE-TRUCKER PATTI

Hey bitches! Okay, I get it. My blog is too long. It's just that there has been so much show content to share. However, I am going to try real hard to make this blog smaller.

Derek, as he sometime does, jumped the gun for Desperately Fucking Angry which is slated for the 4th hour, ranting about the drivers in his town and a particularly treacherous 5 way stop. Do you think he moved there so, while his own driving skills might be lacking, because everyone there drives so bad that he looks good?

Carson Kressley was the first guest. He has a new clothing line on QVC and has some upcoming appearances on QVC to promote them. Check out times and dates at his website, www.carsonkressley.com. Carson was his always adorable self!

After Carson, our lovely Michelle in San Francisco called in and "horror of horror" she called Derek a "shit bag" at which time he gave her a double hang up! Is the lovefest between Derek and Michelle in jeopardy?

The next guess for the "Dildo Whisperer" segment, was Eric from Pyrexions, a glass sex toy manufacturer. You can check him out at www.pyrexions.com. They make a durable, artistic product and it even comes in purple, Romaine's favorite color. Custom orders are accepted.

In the second segment of the "Dildo Whisperer" we got some very helpful advice for all of those who enjoy anal sex. Chew gum-helps relax the muscles! There were also questions about everyone's favorite, premature ejaculation and horniness.

In the XXX showcase, the guest was one of my personal favorites and someone I think we all enjoy. Mr. Pam!!! You can find Mr. Pam at Myspace (mrpam). She has left her native San Francisco, and is now living in New York and is the creative director for Lucas Entertainment. She was at the Gay VN's over the weekend and gave us all the scoop including how Lucas Entertainment won for best orgy scene with Black Scorpion and I think best package design?

Mr. Pam went on to talk about downsizing in porn like everywhere else. Models are getting paid less, budgets for films are smaller, etc. She has recently finished a new, socially conscious film called "Entrapment", inspired by all of the gay men falsely arrested in porn stores in NYC.

Then it was classic moment time in honor of the show's upcoming sixth anniversary. We went back in time to 2004 and a very hot scene with porno starts stripping and having sex right in the studio. Ass eating also occurred and Romaine let slip that her brother Sabin is someone who enjoys that activity!

There was then a blast from the past about "Geek night" at Derek's old apartment. The moral of the story was, do not drink alcohol with your antibiotics! People might find out you have gonorrhea (this is where the opening quote "p.s., I have gonorrhea" came from)!

Romaine and Doria are at the Dinah this weekend. One of my personal favorites, Erik Rhodes
Erik Rhodes

will be cohosting with Derek Thursday night and Friday, Derek will be with Frank on the Frank DeCaro show and Doria Biddle will be the "D" in DNR show!

This is my short perspective (pictures just make it look long-LOL). Love and Hugs - Trucker Patti

P.S. Did any of you all find it a bit creepy when regular caller Jeremiah called in and talked about his sex life? When relatively annonymous people call in getting graphic, it is pretty interesting. When someone who we have been listening to several times a week gets graphic, it is just too much information. Horrors, it would be like me getting graphic! Relax bitches, that won't happen!

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Fashionably Late

OK, I finally got my posts in the right place.

It's not that I didn't know what I was doing. The problem was FAR more likely to have been that the part of the World Wide Web in Texas was broken.

Below are my previous posts.

Uncle Ream-Us


OK, if you were listening tonight, and why wouldn't you, someone sort of 'lost it" with J. C Adams and the racial makeup of the current porn world.


What?


Oh, apparently, that "someone" was me.


What's that you say J.C? The studios can't find men of color?


Where are they looking? Sure Chi Chi and other directors go to gay bars looking for performers. When was the last time they went to a Black or Asian bar to look? I don't know either. I've never seen her or Colt advertise that they were going to.


And wasn't this the same excuse when they "couldn't" find Latin performers before they became less fetishized and more mainstream?


Are there other alternatives to Chi Chi or Colt?


Sure.


But if I wanted to be in porn why would I go to a studio making "Colored Cocks" or "Thugbang IV"?


Why would I want to work for a studio that doesn't even give me a person's name and instead, promoted me (if they promoted me at all) under the name "Dark-E" or "Cockzilla"?


Not that the latter would be all that undescriptive.


Sure, there are movies that have had a Black guy - Matthew Rush made several for Falcon but when did you ever see another Black guy in those movies - let alone performing with Matthew? Even when it's primarily a Black cast with a White guy the White guy is still the focus.


Sure, there are movies that are all Black just like there are All Feet and All Oral movies - fetishes. And the comment was made that porn is not reality but fantasy.


If it is fantasy it can be cast any way the director or studio want. It can take place in space. It can occur in the 1920's.


It can also have a racially diverse cast.


I'm sure there are a few racially diverse movies out there but I bet they are on the Ethnic shelf in the store.


When was the last time you saw a movie with an Asian leather daddy or a Black twink? The excuse is that, "We can't find them."


I can find them on XTube performing for FREE, but you want me to believe that a giant studio with national, if not worldwide resources and talent scouts can't?


Don't piss on my leg and tell me it's a watersports video.


After my little "episode", I IM'd Derek and asked if they had had Black porn stars on the show. Matthew Rush, sure. Can anyone remember any other Black stars on the show?


Anybody?


I double-dog-dared Derek to have 4 on by the end of the year.


We'll see.


Oh, one more thing J. C. : If the movie has an All White cast?


IT'S STILL ETHNIC!!!!!!!


This week's exboyfriend had to be kicked to the curb. Turned out he was Black. Yeeesh!!

Jane, get me off this crazy web address!!!


Yeah, I'm finally back.


I know its been a while and I have yet to fix the whole thing about this blog not being in the "right" place. Hey, it's on the Internet, what more do you want from me Derek?


Like the rest of you I've been listening to the show and while I'm not "the World's Greatest Psychic Medium" (more of a Psychic Petite - Psychic Juniors at the most) I would have predicted that Hedda's appearance would have covered more of the intricacies of "being green": Making your own vodka out of left over french fries or a tip to rinse out and reuse your condoms. But hey, she covered all of the basics like...um...ok, I didn't really pay attention because I don't care about the environment.


I've been told that we should recycle because we didn't inherit the earth from our parents but are the caretakers of the earth for the next generation.


Fuck 'em.


I hate kids and I'm all for them being ignorant and unemployable. I don't need the competition in the workforce and who doesn't want an unending supply of hot, desperate 20 year olds?


Houseboy anyone?


So we heard all about Romaine's tax refund and all of the callers trying to tell her that is was a REFUND and should have been her money to begin with. I don't care abut I was interested in her plans to use the money for her upcoming wedding. I wonder how much she is allocating for the bachelorette party and if Iris will have her own. I imagine a remote broadcast from The Bunny Ranch so that it can be paid for by Sirius. Romaine better remember to get her wedding hoodie dry cleaned.


We talked about various television shows and I don't watch many of the ones discussed. I kicked Time Warner to the curb year before last.


Centuries from now when the aliens take over the planet and look into the annals (hee hee) of history they will learn about the great evils of our society" Pol Pot, Adolf Hitler and yes, Time Warner.


As a result, I lost track of Battlestar and Nip Tuck but I am watching The Amazing Race. Am I the only one who noticed that they blurred out the crotch of the son who did the gymnastic challenge? What, his cock would have offended America? Only if it were "unamerican"


By "unamerican" I mean "tiny". That Asian brother or the White guy could have become Xtube stars.


Speaking of porn, what happened to the movies that the AMAZINGLY sexy D.O. brought to the show? Just drop them in the mail to me Greg so that I can review them for everyone - no need to bother Derek or romaine about that.


This week's future exboyfriend seen at the top of this post had to be kicked to the curb because he ate crackers in bed and the crumbs kept getting caught in his abs.

Thirteenth Ammendment


Back in 1865 a radical idea was put into place as part of the United States Constitution. The 13th amendment freed an entire race and country from the ugliness of slavery.


Or so we thought.


Last week I was IM'ing with a particular host of a particular satellite radio show and was informed that I was to be a blogger - that's what the kids call it. So here I am today, sitting in my cubicle with very important papers to push and TPS Reports that have to get out and on top of all that, NOW i have to blog?!


I don't remember having my teeth checked or hearing what my stud fee was but apparently I am now working on the Sirius Plantation.


They say you should write about what you passionate about but uncutpuertoricanmeat.net has got that already covered so I guess I will have to resign myself to snarky comments on television, celebrities and Massa' Derek's radio show.


At the various meet and greets with other listeners, people have come up to me and said that I looked nothing like they expected. Instead of posting pictures of myself to clarify any misconceptions, I have decided to post pictures of my future ex-boyfriends to keep you coming (hee hee) back if my scintillating text is not enough for you - even though we both know it is. It should also keep my visitor count higher than Michelle's and that's what is really important.


I had to break up with the guy at the top because he wouldn't pickup his dirty laundry.


I gotta go, that cotton's not gonna pick itself.

FROM MY PERSPECTIVE-TRUCKER PATTI


HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ROMAINE PATTERSON!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Hey Bitches! I will say right off that tonight's show was absolutely terrific!! My blog will be a bit different tonight; probably shorter (Yeah!!); because last night I was sitting in a truck stop blogging as the show went along. Tonight, I was driving the whole show, and, to make matters worse, half way through, my Sirius radio started messing up. I had to call the show and Mistress Sam graciously put me on hold so I could hear the show. I will be buying a new radio tomorrow!

The show started with lots of birthday good wishes for Romaine including two, yes count them, two callers from West Virginia!

There was then some discussion about good and bad drivers; Romaine being a good driver; Derek and Betty (Romaine's Mom), bad drivers. Then there is the whole town where Derek lives who are absolutely terrible drivers!

Will Romaine hook Betty up with a good Catholic man, or maybe Frank DeCaro's dad-wait and see!

We found out that today (Wednesday) is George in San Francisco's 42nd birthday (though he swears he only looks 32) . I hope you will all join me in sending out a big happy birthday shout to George!

Lifestyles of the Derek and Romaine had caterer to the stars Wade Williams as the guest. There was lots of back and forth about how to have a cheap party in this economy and Derek insisting that now is the time to stimulate the economy by spending money on your parties if you have it to spend. Romaine agreed with Wade, but then we all know she is a cheap lesbian and I have to agree with Derek! If you can afford it, spend it! But 8 kinds of beer, Derek! Maybe you should look into the "keggerator". Love the Snoopy snow cone margarita idea! Lose the essence of pinata and get a real one-like Romaine said, it will be more fun!

Then it was time for Tabloid Tuesday! Noah Levy from In Touch Weekly, www.intouchweekly.com. Also, surprise, surprise! The one and only, amazing and greenly gorgeous Hedda Lettuce, www.hedda.com, showed up. I missed some of the banter and gossip because this was where my radio started messing up, but I did hear something about Madonna actually being Junior Vasquez in drag and there was something about Christine from "The New Adventures of Old Christine" actually being Derek in drag. Go figure! Who knew he had been moonlighting! There was also a mention of Miss Piggy being a fashion icon-well DUH! Hedda said that she loved Romaine's speech at the GLAAD awards (see, I spelled it right this time) and that her boobs were especially fetching! And someplace, did I hear another Sabin (you mean Romaine's gay brother is not the only one?) call in?

I will have to say, though, for me, the highlight of the whole show was when Little Romaine made her national radio debut. She talked, she sang, she was delightful. Just a chip off the old block! Guess you and Iris are doing something right Romaine!

I called into the show and a voice answered the phone that I had not heard in two years! It was Danglin Dan, the former producer of the show who was there visiting with his lovely wife! We adore you Mistress Sam, but we do miss our Danglin Dan! I got to ask Romaine a question and it was "what did she think was the sexiest thing about Iris?" She said that it was Iris's perfect tits-isn't that romantic? There were some other questions but none were outrageous enough for me to remember-I am blonde after all and in some places eligible for a senior discount. They say that as you get older, the first thing to go is your memory and I will be damned if I can remember the second!

Also, in studio, was Iris. For the 1 or 2 of you who don't know, she is Romaine's better half and, as announced first on the show, her soon to be wife. You betcha. Our Romaine's single days are over for good. They will be tying the knot on the Our Family Cruise with some of Iris's family there and a whole bunch of crazy Pattersons! Watch out all you cruisers-you are in for it! Please keep a life vest and Sabina at all times-she may go looking for a place to pee and fall overboard! There will be a disco night reception for all the listener's on board to help the new couple celebrate. And, is there a new baby on the way-Iris says she won't carry it (Romaine says she is too much of a pussy to do it!), so, when they decide to hit the sperm bank, our Romaine will be a pregnant bitch on wheels for a second time! Look for that maybe this fall? As for the wedding, will our own Derek Hartley be a bride's maid-we will just half to wait and see, but I bet he looks great in taffeta!

As for other couples, will Dave in Saskatchewan be hooking up with Ryan in Phoenix? Do tell somebody and we want details!

If you are in the area, Derek will be at the Club XS in York, PA, www.clubxsyork.com on April 11th. Go check him out and party down!

That's my perspective for this show bitches-until next time, love and hugs - Trucker Patti