Hello fellow Bitches-
So last night on the show I went on a rather lengthy rant about my lovely wife Iris and her inability to clean up after herself. I know that many of you think I am just making this shit up so I decided to take matters in to my own hands and show you a little photographic proof of what I am talking about.
**Disclaimer** I did take pictures of the worst offenders in levels of filth and no my whole house is not like this. Just a few key areas associated with my lovely wife. Also, I am by no means an anal retentive cleaner and I too have some dirty areas. Just for the record.
Okay onto the proof!
Picture 1: The Kitchen area
What do you see in this photo? A bowl with some pasta for Romie. An empty cup with a slice of lime and a salt shaker. No big deal really. EXCEPT that bowl of food has been on the counter for two days. that cup with the lime...it has a few clones running around the house. And the salt shaker is one of about 5 in our house because Iris tends to hide one in just about every room!
Picture 2: The Living Room
In this photo you see the side of the sofa that belongs to Iris. She has taken my laptop from its home upstairs and brought it downstairs to use. Btw, it is still there. Now, on this particular day her side table is actually kind of clean as there are no dirty dishes on it. But most days it has any or all of the following: a water glass, a salt shaker, books, paper towel, dirty dish among other random items.
Picture 3: The Bedside
What is it with socks? They never make it to the hamper! Last night I talked about Iris has a collection of dirty socks that seems to live beside her side of the bed. This picture shows a few of those pairs. What you don't see are the 3 additional pairs that are UNDER the bed. I counted them this morning when I cleaned there were 5 PAIRS in total!
Picture 4: The Upstairs Bathroom
Two weeks ago I got all crazy and cleaned the lower level of our house really well. Iris seeing all my hard work got inspired to help out. So she took to the upstairs bathroom! I was so proud of her! She even mopped the floor but what she failed to do was clean up from her cleaning. As you can see the mop that she used 2 weeks ago is still in the bathroom! WTF?
I've left the worst 2 offenders for last...so be prepared!!!
Picture 5:The Rec Room/ Contents of Iris' Old Car!
Remember how I told the story last night of how Iris cleaned out her new car? Well, she took everything that was in her old car and shoved it into a few bags in order to get it ready to be traded in. She then brought those bags into our Rec. Room and put them on the floor. Well, I guess she needed to find something in one of the bags so rather then go through the bag she decided to just empty it out right there on the floor. As you can see from this picture when she cleaned out her car she put EVERYTHING in those bags EVEN THE TRASH! Plus, this should give you a good idea of the way her old car looked on the inside! Oh and this mess has been on the floor of the rec room since Friday or Saturday!
Picture 6: Iris' Walk in Closet!
Now these pictures are from Iris' walk in closet. This mess doesn't really make me crazy like the others do because it is her personal space. However, I wanted to include these photos because they reflect the bigger issue. Iris is messy! In these photos you can see that she just likes to let things be messy and stay messy. Even when she has a basket of clean and folded clothes (btw I folded them) she just leaves them in the basket rather then put them away. At some point it has to be hard to figure out which clothes are dirty and which one are not. Right? She has lots of hangers as you can see yet they all seem empty. What is that about? How can any person find what they need in all of this mess?
Okay, so now you have seen my picture proof. And I didn't even take pictures of the dog hair...only because my digital camera ran out of juice before I could! So my question is: What the fuck should I do about this problem? HELP!!!