Thursday, February 26, 2009
Rosie's Comin'!
Anyone thinking about going on the Rosie Cruise this summer?
Today's show was pretty fun - you got to hear the show open with everyone talking about how CRAZY I am - (I believe the word "batshit" was thrown around?) - I swear Derek acts like I am ready for a strait jacket! Thank goodness for my friend Romaine.
What else - OH LOVELY, how could I forget, Romaine talking about getting a handful of SHIT while wrestling with Romie. All I have to say is: GO ROMIE! WOO! (Sorry Romaine - just remember -- the best way to get a kitty to love you is to IGNORE HER!)
Did anyone count how many times she said SHIT during that segment? So frickin' gross.
And then Derek had to add his own Poo Smearing Story to the pile. Who would be surprised after smearing poo all over the walls as a child (and laughing maniacally)that he ended up doing this particular job, smearing poo all over the airwaves! Not me.
There was sex advice (ew.) and then "What's Your Gay Problem" is one of my favorites and you can always count on some callers to make you feel like whatever you are angry about just isn't all that bad. One caller said that he was disappointed that he didn't get to hear Ryan in Connecticut call in. Where's Ryan?
OK that's it for tonight - I'm already up too late - how will I EVER get my 9 hours at this rate? Hmph.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
DNR T-Shirts
I designed a bunch of T-Shirts a while back for Dallas Pride - I had an idea last night and updated one of them to show XM, etc.
Let me know what you think, and if you see any adjustments that should be made!
I'm also going to just make a plain, one-sided simple Derek & Romaine with nothing on the back - should I make them in Black T-shirts or White? (or both?)
Vote with your comment replies - (even if you say you hate it)!
Here are all of the Shirts:
My gallery at Zazzle
My Inner Frat Boy
But today my inner frat boy got a real treat. It seems my lesbian friend has a new lady in her life. While I sat and listened to her tales of her new conquest my inner frat boy was at the edge of his seat. The stories of a new romance, lust and all that comes with a new lady love made me miss my active frat boy of old. But knowing that I am not willing to give up one second of my life as it is I was happy to settle with living vicariously through my friend.
When lunch was over I decided to walk back tot he office and I passed a store that had an item in it that I thought Iris would like. Nothing big, just a little something thoughtful. So I went in and bought it. I think my inner frat boy was reminded that even though something new is fun there is nothing a wonderful as what is tried and true.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Why are Derek & Romaine so excited?
Also - I thought yesterday's show was particularly excellent - but I am a sucker for the gossipy shows, dishing about Hollywood. I mostly agreed on their fashion critique, as well. Miley Cyrus' dress was stupid. Derek mentioned that Sean Penn was at the Oscars with his wife, Robin Wright Penn - I looked it up and apparently they filed for divorce, but then UN-filed for divorce. So, apparently, all is well. She's probably a really good woman, and he probably begged. He's definitely got some self-awareness going on right now.
And I loved Derek's crack about Luis the Intern still having that "New Intern Smell".
And is the DnR fade-in music REALLY "bathhouse music?"
Dennis Hensley (please correct my spelling) says to go vote for people at: BIGGAYCASTING.com
OK - so here's my practical, lesbian rant about the early part of the show (please tune out if your Mom irritates you!):
I don't understand why Derek and Romaine are so willing to leave so much money with the Government every year, just hanging on to it, taking an interest-free loan to pay banks tons of money, and then -- Derek whispers about what a HUGE refund he is getting!
A refund. Of his own money. In other words, the Government is GIVING BACK HIS MONEY. They were just BORROWING it.
It's like telling your company - "take some extra money from my paycheck, give it to someone ELSE to go shopping with - and then just give it back to me later. I didn't need any interest."
And you know what happens? If you UNDERPAY your taxes - they FINE you! How come you can't fine them for keeping money that doesn't belong to them? ALSO - you can end up like us in California - "oh, you were getting a refund? you overpaid? too bad, we already spent your money. no refunds. At least not now." Great.
Here is what you're supposed to do, Ladies and Gentlemen (**and DO REMEMBER - this is not tax advice! Your tax situation may be different and you should contact your own tax advisors, or GOD FORBID, do your own research!)
(also - this works best if you work for a larger company, or a company that has its shit together - your mileage may vary!)
If you OWN A HOME and/or have a lot of writeoffs on your tax return, and you work at a company that withholds taxes from your paycheck, you can CHANGE YOUR WITHHOLDING - from 1 Exemption (for a single person) - to the correct amount for your situation. There are websites with calculators where you can input figures from your paycheck and it will tell you, based on your current salary and tax withholding - HOW MANY EXEMPTIONS YOU SHOULD BE CLAIMING.
Then, magically, YOUR PAYCHECK becomes HUGER! More take home pay! More money for hookers and blow.
Now, I know you're going to say "But Michelle, I *like* getting a refund every year! I wouldn't save money otherwise!"
Well here you go. Your company, most likely, has direct deposit for your paycheck. What you do, once you have all this extra money coming in, is RE-DIRECT it - to either another bank account, or a separate savings account - something harder to access. Most banks will allow you to open another account free of charge.
So, say your paycheck is currently $1000 every 2 weeks. Once you're getting all of YOUR money in your paycheck, and not sending it to the tax collector to be spent on Mormon Tax Breaks - lets say, your paycheck will be $1250 every 2 weeks.
Each paycheck, have your company deposit $250.00 into your fancy new Money Market, Interest Bearing Checking or Savings Account - and then the rest into whatever other account you normally have them deposit your check in.
Or - USE SOME SELF DISCIPLINE! Immediately transfer some amount of money into a separate account when you deposit your check.
This way, you'll start to accumulate money, you won't even notice it. I promise. And when it comes time to pay your property taxes, or buy that new 67" HD TV - there will be this great account full of money to go to!!
And you'll think: "Thank goodness for Michelle in San Francisco. Maybe I'll send HER some money!"
Now, I'm not saying this is something that is easy to do. You will actually need to pay attention for some length of time, make some phone calls, and fill out a few forms. But then - you'll keep all of your money where it belongs. IN YOUR BANK ACCOUNT (pocket, mattress, whatever!).
/end rant.
PS: Exploding Sex Toy: Always Funny
Monday, February 23, 2009
Mission 4: SHOW US YOUR PRIDE!!!
As of Feb. 2, 2009 the Derek and Romaine Show can be heard weekdays on BOTH Sirius 109 and XM 98 from 6-10pm EST! Help us promote the fact that our show is now heard on XM! We want to make sure that all of the XM listeners are aware of the fact that OutQ and Derek and Romaine can be heard on XM channel 98 as well as Sirius 109.
For this week’s mission we are asking all of our listeners to show your DNR Pride! We know many of you listen to the show at home, in your car or at work so we want you to show your pride where ever you listen to the show the most often. Be creative and decorate your car, cubicle, make a t-shirt or put a sign up in your yard just show your love! BUT whatever you do make sure your friends know where they can listen to Derek and Romaine Sirius 109 and XM 98! When you are all done take a picture and send it to us at dnrshow@gmail.com so we can check it out and post it on the show blog! We will randomly be selecting listeners who have completed this mission and sending them a little reward.
Thanks for all of your help and support!!!
Romaine!
Flaming Sex Toys!
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Totes.
I do love that Derek. I have to say that because I didn't hear Romaine, not even once!!!
OK so.
Anyway. So I'm just checking in to say - do people REALLY use the word "TOTES"? Really? Like, I'm so FETCH!
To me, "Totes" are rubber boots that are really thin so you can roll them up and keep them in your purse or briefcase until it starts to rain - and then -- voila! you look like a douche, but you're a douche with dry feet.
OK, I'm "totes" done. Are you guys having a good weekend?
PS - I do have to post soon about My Evening With George in SF and How Michri and Chris TOTALLY BLEW US OFF! I'm not bitter. But you might not be interested...your comments will guide the blog content!!
Friday Night Lives
Drove to the supermarket and a woman ran across the highway in front of me, dressed head to toe in all black and carrying... A BABY! Earlier in the week, I complained about the lesbians walking their dog in a long black cloak. Do people want to die? Did no one retain anything from the safety discussions in elementary school? Then again, the lady in my neighborhood who jogs with reflecting tape striped up and down her on both sides looks unbelievably stupid. But still, can't there be a middle ground?
Freaky news in my email box from JC Adams of GayPornTimes.com. He was a guest on the show on Wednesday telling us all about the GayVNs this year (sans DNR). We were awesome there last year, by the way. Just ask YouTube! Anyway, as you know, Romaine and I spend a lot of time on the road promoting the show at pride events. A few years ago at Pride South Florida, I wanted to go out and the nice folks at Broadwalk offered to send one of their dancers over to pick me up and drive me so I could save some taxi money and get as drunk as I wanted. The dancer they sent was a hot Russian named Nickolay Petrov who was "gay for pay" as was his roommate at the time but he confided in me that he was actually gay but not to tell anyone because he didn't want his roommate to freak out, even though they were doing gay porn together. Ummm.... okay.
Anyway, flash forward and Nickolay is arrested for trying to kill an elderly Florida couple in a hired gun scheme gone awry and now JC informs us that Nickolay has been sentenced to twenty years in prison. Whoops! I wonder what happened to his super hot 70s muscle car with the cherry red leather interior. That was a sweet ride. You should have seen the jealous looks I got from the queens waiting at my hotel when that hot porn star rolled up in his steamy muscle car to take me away. But now he has been taken away. Oh well.
On a lighter note, I was just confirming on Friday my return to Pride South Florida this coming March 21st and 22nd. I will no doubt be back at Broadwalk and I plan to take a cab this time. Just in case! I also spent some time on Friday firming up my plans for Memorial Day weekend with Romaine at Adonis The Nightclub in Cincinnati for their pool party. I will even endeavor to get myself into some kind of shape (preferably not an oval) between now and then, which means no more banana pudding from the Magnolia Bakery. I also talked to the folks at Indy Pride and will definitely be back there on June 13th. All of our upcoming dates are listed over to the right here on the blog. Just click on the link for more info about that event.
Sorry you missed having a live show, but I didn't miss going to work one bit! I slept until noon. Made myself a pot of coffee. Lolled around in bed. And watched a lot of TV. Dollhouse (much improved, especially with that yummy Matt Keeslar guest-starring. Matty call me!), Battlestar (only 4 more episodes!!! NOOOOOO!!!! Jamie Bamber call me!) and Burn Notice (Jeffrey Donovan call me right away!). Romaine and I will have full TV recaps and more on what we did this weekend when we return to the air live on Monday! Have a good weekend bitches!
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Facebook Friends
Well, I got a friend request today and it made me laugh so hard I was very tempted to add the listener just because frankly it's hard to make me laugh like that. Anthony in Orlando, FL wrote: "Hey Derek. I know you don't want to add people to your friend list that you don't actually know, but come on, I listen to you every day (which my boyfriend hates). Dont' be a bitch, princess." Bizarre punctuation aside, his request really touched me. And really, do I know him any less than the woman I apparently went to high school with but don't remember who tried to add me last week? Not really. But I am still not going to add him.
So join my Fan Page and you can see videos of me and photos and my blog updates automatically in the notes section. And post something. And be funny like Anthony. I like that.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Mission 3!
As of Feb. 2, 2009 the Derek and Romaine Show can be heard weekdays on BOTH Sirius 109 and XM 98 from 6-10pm EST!
Help us promote the fact that our show is now heard on XM 98! We want to make sure that all of the XM listeners are aware of the fact that OutQ and Derek and Romaine can be heard on XM channel 98 as well as Sirius 109. This weeks mission is all about reaching out to people in unexpected ways and seeing how they react. We are asking all of our truckers out there to get on their CB radios and start some random chatter about Derek and Romaine. In the past truckers have said things like "I'm fuckin' and truckin' with Derek and Romaine." Make up something new just see if you can create a stir. For our listeners who are not truckers we want you to send random and creative text messages to your friends (especially those with XM radios). Get a conversation started and don't forget to mention where they can catch the show.
When you have completed your mission we want you to call into the show during happy hour this week and share with us how your friends reacted to your random messages. We will be selecting random callers to receive prizes and one lucky person will receive a Clarisonic Skin Care System. We have already given away two of them to lucky winners and the next winner could be you!
You have your mission now get to work!
Who Brew?
When I was little, we had these books called "Mission to Mars" that I guess were trying to tell us that Hebrew was really like crazy Moon language, but we had to learn it. The further along you got, the less English there was. Sort of like Derek & Romaine. The further into the 4 hours you get, the less you can understand them.
JUST KIDDING!
I'm completely bummed out that I missed yesterday's show. At 3pm I was well into my Housewives of the OC marathon, and hadn't gotten off the couch.
I better go check my newsletter and see what's on today's show. I am going to Ikea tonight so I will probably miss the ending. Will have to set the Stiletto to preserve every word.
Tonight's Show
We had a dream guy (Robert Moss) on the show and he did some quick interpreting of dreams for people. We did get some freaky dreams (skinny baby/fat baby and sky raining fire/blood) as well as a gay dream about some homo descending a staircase. That prompted me to start doing Norma Desmond impressions on the webcam in the DNR Chat Room. Susie Bright also dropped by in studio to hang out with us and it was nice to see her in person. She's fun.
The highlight of the night: a listener known only as "Cammer" was hanging out in the chat room. The listeners convinced him to strip off his clothes and then he started to blow himself! I was impressed. He was a hot guy too and he has a nice body. Who is this hunky blondish mystery man? I guess Big Ben has some competition now!
Oh and don't forget to watch this season of the Amazing Race. The first episode had the most hilarious challenge ("Don't let a cheese hit me!") and an exciting finale with a foot race to the end. I even cried when one of the teams arrived on the mat. It had it all!
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Happy Valentine's Day!
Derek Answers Your Questions!
Patrick wanted to know the name of the book I got my roommate Mike for his birthday. It's called The Survivors Club by Ben Sherwood. It was just written up in Newsweek and EW, being so timely following US Airways #1549. We are also trying to get the author on the show! Oh and you can hear more about Mike's birthday in my most recent blog entry. And no, for the millionth time, we are not boyfriends.
Corinne wrote to me about Prop 8 and the Salvation Army. In the wave of the Prop 8 vote in California, we talked a lot on the show about organizations and people who supported the vote and who we should not support in return (I'm looking at you LDS!) We also talked about the Salvation Army. Corinne thought there was a connection between the two and wanted proof since her friends were disbelievers. In this case, her friends are correct. The Salvation Army had no direct involvement in the passage of Prop 8. However, we did discuss them as an organization that has a history of not supporting the LGBT community through their work and policies. They came up largely because of the timing (the holidays) when they have their most visible and active fundraising of the year (red buckets and bell-ringers), and we were encouraging listeners to give them anti-discrimination bucks to convince them to reverse their policies. Since the bucks were made available at NoOnDivorce.com, I can see where the confusion came in.
If you have a question for me that you want answered in the Monday Mailbag, email me at derek@derekhartley.com!
Friday, February 13, 2009
How many hours a day can Romaine talk?
At 9am I went on Doctor Radio to talk about gay stuff. You know being gay, coming out, telling your parents, oh and then being a gay with a kid and we accomplished all of this chit chat in an hour’s time. It was actually a lot of fun. After hanging out with those smarty pants doctors I headed back to Sirius to get some work done.
Doctor Radio = 1 hour of talk time
Life at Sirius is never planned. Sometimes you just get swept up into something and there you go. So I was sitting at my desk talking with Greg when I realized Frank's show hadn't even started yet! WTF? This day started way too early. After a few minutes of planning I joined Greg in walking down to the OutQ studio. Where we had fun playing tricks on Frank. An hour later I was making a frantic call from a bathroom. Frank didn't like the competition it seems.
Frank Decaro show= 1 hour of talk time
Here I sit at my desk thinking about tonight’s show. The doctor radio show I was on is a 2 hour show that airs once a week. Frank Decaro's show is a 3 hour show. MY show is a 4 hour show done 5 days a week. So in a normal week I do (4x5 =20) 20 hours of talking a week! That is except this week where now I will end up doing at least 22 FULL hours!!! I'm no mathematician but holy shit! Who knew I had so much to say?
Thursday, February 12, 2009
I fucking hate LOST!
Okay, so I have been watching this fucking show since it started and I fucking hate it. I still don't know anymore about that stupid fucking island then I did at the end of season one. It is bull shit!!! So why then am I compelled to continue watching? I'll tell you. I think it is because I hate to admit I have wasted so much fucking time. I have to believe that at some point the big payoff is going to come. It hasn't and my trust in the fact that it will is waning but alas I keep watching. It is kind of like that other show I hate.
THE L WORD!
I fucking hate everything about that stupid fucking show. At one time I could at least enjoy the fact that the girls were hot but now they are fucking people I hate which makes me want to vomit. Why watch a show where the very images on the screen make you sick? Again, I have invested 5 full years to this stupid lesbian drama. Can I really quit with just a few episodes left? Sadly, no. I have to just close my eyes and plug my ears at the gross and nasty parts (nearly every second of every show) and hope that this too shall pass. Then The L Word will be gone and the world will be a better place.
Now if only that fucking island would go away too. Two shows that should get LOST and never be found!
My Wild Opinions

Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Lies, all Lies. And Luis. (I asked Sam!)
DEREK LIES!
Do you see Stanton in Austin posting on this blog? I haven't seen him. Didn't you hear Derek say that Stanton in Austin was going to post? I did!
This [radio show] is a [radio show] of lies!! (if you know what movie that's (adjusted) from, you get a pr.....well, you get me saying "That's Right! You're awesome!")
I asked Sam how to spell "Luis's" name. Now that I know it's spelled this way, I wonder even more what he looks like.
I think he has a great voice! No detectable accent - personality - very nice! But: Video Game nerd! It's OK, we'll forgive him as long as he's hot.
I asked Derek to post a picture on the Blog ASAP.
I admit I was kind of bummed none of the questions threw him at all. Some listeners definitely went down some scary roads - don't you think??
Well - I better go home now. Night Night Bitches!
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Hot Marines On YouTube.com!
First, there is the video of the sexy marine thrown into a shower. I think it had a certain homoerotic charge to it, especially when he corners the other marine in the shower and tweaks his nipple. Romaine didn't think it was enough like gay porn, but you can decide for yourself. Post your comments below.
I originally went down a YouTube.com rabbit hole after I was sent the Your Tax Dollars At Work clip, where marines dance around when they are supposed to be working. This video is hilarious and the main dancer, well, let's just say there is something familiar to us in his moves!
There are tons and tons of other dancing Marines, some shirtless, some not. Just keep clicking down the rabbit hole on the right hand side and the next thing you know your entire afternoon is gone. Personally, I still think there is nothing hotter than the boys who did their own version of Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger. But waste a few hours online and decide for yourself!
What's the Agenda?
What?
OK, so it says to "visit http://www.xmradio.com for more information" - and...nothing.
Derek? Romaine? Whasssaaa? Is that going to be going on in the Diana Cage time slut? I mean, slot?
Tonight is all about the Westminster Dog Show , though I'm waiting until tomorrow night's Toy Group to see the Yorkshire Terriers. At least you can count on dogs to look good in HD!
I guess everyone else is watching Heroes - so boring! I mean, what? How interesting. Do you watch that show? What am I missing?
I thought it was cool to hear Kim Coles on the show today. I caught a Living Single marathon the other day and just love her character. Simple, cheerful and funny. What's not to like? Plus I have a huge crush on Queen Latifah. Don't judge me. I can crush on a woman named "Queen".
Let's see - what else happened today? I missed a lot of the show, sadly, because I had to work, and then in the middle of the show was Barack Obama's news conference, and I suddenly felt that I should be responsible and see what he had to say. Silly me!
What did I miss?
Monday, February 9, 2009
This weeks Mission!
Mission 2: Bloggers!
As of Feb. 2, 2009 the Derek and Romaine Show can be heard weekdays on BOTH Sirius 109 and XM 98 from 6-10pm EST!
Help us promote the fact that our show is now heard on XM! We want to make sure that all of the XM listeners are aware of the fact that OutQ and Derek and Romaine can be heard on XM channel 98 as well as Sirius 109. For this week’s mission we are asking all of our listeners to take a few minutes and blog about what you love about Derek and Romaine. Post a favorite quote, explain why you love the show, or make a video blog but whatever you do make sure your friends know where they can listen to Derek and Romaine Sirius 109 and XM 98! If you don’t have a blog then convince your favorite blogger to help us out. When you are all done send us a link at dnrshow@gmail.com so we can check it out! We will randomly be selecting listeners who have completed this mission and sending them a little reward and one winner this week will get a Clarisonic Skin Care System!
Thanks for all of your help and support!!!
Romaine!
Hot Boys Get FUCT!
Sunday, February 8, 2009
Whitney Sighting?
(I DON'T EVEN CARE! WHY AM I TYPING THIS?)
UPDATE: 1:57am - just want to be clear that this performance is probably a duet with Jennifer Hudson, so may not be an album as much as making sure she will actually show up....further news to come. Can't find info on any other gossip site yet...
Saturday, February 7, 2009
I sold my Sirius Radio Today...
Just kidding.
I use it to read just how angry and confrontational Lesbians can be from the safety of their keyboard! Then, I can question my life choices, and wonder if a nice Jewish girl can somehow become a Nun?
Well, nevermind that. I don't think Nuns are allowed to do anything fun. Except sing "The Hills are Alive" and steal peoples fiances! Yeah, baby! Although The Baroness was a terrible bitch! (but her measurements were 36-24-36 according to Hollywood Studio Magazine! va-va-voom!)
OK - so I sold my original Sirius Reciever - it was a little old - the very first one I purchased when Howard first announced he was moving to Sirius. At the time I was completely unaware that there was any such thing as OutQ.
Now look at me. A Derek & Romaine hag.
Unfortunately I didn't get to listen to much of Friday's show. I never like to miss much, because everyone is jussssst a little loopier on Fridays. But then there was the replay of the GLAAD award winning Laramie Project show (go Katie!) that cut everything short.
Ryan in CT didn't let me down - what was he going on about "going to Fashion Week"? I'm still not sure I can quite figure him out (maybe it's better that way!), but he is definitely one of the funnier callers. I thought the interview with Whatshername was kinda boring with Romaine dead-silent and Derek playing the dutiful role of Fanboy. I don't think that she's had that thoughtful of an interview in YEARS!
But, I'm just mean.
(update: the Sally Kellerman interview was much more entertaining on the replay today (Sunday), oddly enough -- so I mostly take it back. Plus, she still looks great. Ranch Dressing!!)
Today in San Francisco it was gorgeous, warm. Tank top and hot pants weather in the Castro, I'm sure. Tomorrow is GLBT Dog Lovers Meetup at a local dog park here in the East Bay. I'll see if I can get George in San Francisco to join me, but he's being a stick-in-the-mud lately! Too busy staying home, getting laid, I bet!!
What are Derek and Romaine doing this weekend?
A Night Out With Listeners!
The Laramie Project Ten Years Later
What did you think of the special? Post a comment and share your thoughts.
Friday, February 6, 2009
Walk It Out!
Then again, I do not get her crazy obsession with Yo Stink Bitch from Nip/Tuck.
I'm in love with Derek....
I want to roll around in its HD depths...I want to curl up on the couch and watch Madmen in gigantic living color...I want to stare at Drew Barrymore's overly made up face as I try to imagine WHAT she could POSSIBLY be thinking about with her Grey Gardens remake --
Is that so wrong?
I'm so jealous! I want to go over to his house RIGHT NOW! Romaine, please come pick me up.
I was so disappointed tonight in the quality of callers for Reichen...BUT! I do have to say that Reichen just was not putting the charisma out there! He is hot! hot! hot! But unless you're looking at him...well. Snore. Next time, tell him to wait to draw the bath until the call is over, and to focus on being hilarious and scintillating. Didn't think I could spell that, did you?
But, I *am* looking forward to his call back to let us know what happened. Maybe some strong, silent type out there sent his Manhunt photo to Reichen?
Buddy is barking at someone at the door, so you know what that means:
I get to taze someone! Nighty-night Beehotches!
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Date Reichen!

We're On XM!
So we have started this new official blog for the show to keep people updated on the show and to give you more inside scoop on what happens behind the scenes. Feel free to email us here if you have any questions about the show. You can email us at dnrshow@gmail.com and we will try to answer your question in our Monday Mailbag segment or right here in the blog! We want to hear from you.