FROM MY PERSPECTIVE-TRUCKER PATTI

Oh!, be still my heart! Falcon exclusive Erik Rhodes has arrived! I don't know whether I want to kidnap him, put him in my truck and make him my personal sex slave, or adopt him and nurture him! Maybe a little bit of both but probably more toward the nurturing side, given my advanced age! I wanted to scream at the first caller who did not know our Erik and who is an aficionado of bareback porn-yuck! I will take Falcon films with condoms, any day of the week.

Romaine and Greg the cupcake are winging their way to Palm Springs and I am so looking forward to tomorrow night's DNR (Doria and Romain) Show, live from the Dinah! How will our very straight Greg deal with all those half naked, drunk lesbians??? Or, how will his girlfriend Dawn deal with it?

Filling in for Greg, is the wonderful and very talented Katy, former intern and driving force behind the GLAAD award winning "THE LARAMIE PROJECT: 10 YEARS LATER – THE LASTING LEGACY OF MATTHEW SHEPARD."

There was a food person on, but I tried not to listen, because I was afraid it would make me hungry! It was Sue Torres www.suenosnyc.com!

Michael Lucas had a bit of a melt down on stage at the VN's because of Brett Corrigan who lied about his age and started at 17 and who has now been winning awards. Janice Dickenson did not even come on until 2 hours into the program and just told bad jokes. Erik and his boyfriend got consigned to the cheap seats while the rest of Falcon sat up front (I think he got bumped for someone's date!)! Erik thought our own Derek and Romaine did a much better job hosting the awards last year. I am sure he is right!

Gay problems-Brian looking for a trans hookup-referred him to www.Susans.org

Trucker Robert is still looking for the music!

Are all lesbians homely-I think not!!!

Ryan's problem this week has to do with fit and fresh containers. He is starting a blog about fat people. We love our hot mess! Give up soda, Ryan!

I have to agree with Derek-Joel in South Carolina-being the other woman with a man married to a woman is a train wreck waiting to happen! People will be hurt-BIG TIME!!! Being HIV positive is no excuse! GET OUT, GET OUT, GET OUT!!!!

Still hung up on an old love? Derek says, "have sex with strangers!"

Erik has a gay problem! It's called a "boyfriend!"

Josh Kilmer-Purcell and Dr. Brent Ridge from Beekman 1802, www.beekman1802.com, a shared experiment in seasonal living, were guests and Derek immediately started talking about his very cute house in upstate New York complete with flowers, deer and a dead tree! You like goat cheese. Blah, blah, blah! We want more Erik!!!

We didn't get more Erik-they talked about goats and gardens and then the GLAAD awards leaving Erik out completely! Poor Erik was nodding off at the microphone!

OMG! Is there a gay FLDS cult in upstate New York??? Say it isn't so!!!!!!!!

Britney and KFed-who cares? Erik is precious when he sleeps and he eats cheeseburgers-that, I care about!

There was a discussion about a ban against straight women having their bachlorette parties at gay bars in Chicago. Some were for, some were against, but my perspective is that, bottom line, it is tacky! When all of us can get married, not just some of us, then the bachlorette parties can come back!

At this point in the show, the truck who I had to swap loads with, showed up at the truckstop I was sitting at and since I was receiving a hot load, I missed the rest of the show.

Happy Fucking Friday, bitches!