Wednesday, April 1, 2009



Hey Bitches! I will say right off that tonight's show was absolutely terrific!! My blog will be a bit different tonight; probably shorter (Yeah!!); because last night I was sitting in a truck stop blogging as the show went along. Tonight, I was driving the whole show, and, to make matters worse, half way through, my Sirius radio started messing up. I had to call the show and Mistress Sam graciously put me on hold so I could hear the show. I will be buying a new radio tomorrow!

The show started with lots of birthday good wishes for Romaine including two, yes count them, two callers from West Virginia!

There was then some discussion about good and bad drivers; Romaine being a good driver; Derek and Betty (Romaine's Mom), bad drivers. Then there is the whole town where Derek lives who are absolutely terrible drivers!

Will Romaine hook Betty up with a good Catholic man, or maybe Frank DeCaro's dad-wait and see!

We found out that today (Wednesday) is George in San Francisco's 42nd birthday (though he swears he only looks 32) . I hope you will all join me in sending out a big happy birthday shout to George!

Lifestyles of the Derek and Romaine had caterer to the stars Wade Williams as the guest. There was lots of back and forth about how to have a cheap party in this economy and Derek insisting that now is the time to stimulate the economy by spending money on your parties if you have it to spend. Romaine agreed with Wade, but then we all know she is a cheap lesbian and I have to agree with Derek! If you can afford it, spend it! But 8 kinds of beer, Derek! Maybe you should look into the "keggerator". Love the Snoopy snow cone margarita idea! Lose the essence of pinata and get a real one-like Romaine said, it will be more fun!

Then it was time for Tabloid Tuesday! Noah Levy from In Touch Weekly, Also, surprise, surprise! The one and only, amazing and greenly gorgeous Hedda Lettuce,, showed up. I missed some of the banter and gossip because this was where my radio started messing up, but I did hear something about Madonna actually being Junior Vasquez in drag and there was something about Christine from "The New Adventures of Old Christine" actually being Derek in drag. Go figure! Who knew he had been moonlighting! There was also a mention of Miss Piggy being a fashion icon-well DUH! Hedda said that she loved Romaine's speech at the GLAAD awards (see, I spelled it right this time) and that her boobs were especially fetching! And someplace, did I hear another Sabin (you mean Romaine's gay brother is not the only one?) call in?

I will have to say, though, for me, the highlight of the whole show was when Little Romaine made her national radio debut. She talked, she sang, she was delightful. Just a chip off the old block! Guess you and Iris are doing something right Romaine!

I called into the show and a voice answered the phone that I had not heard in two years! It was Danglin Dan, the former producer of the show who was there visiting with his lovely wife! We adore you Mistress Sam, but we do miss our Danglin Dan! I got to ask Romaine a question and it was "what did she think was the sexiest thing about Iris?" She said that it was Iris's perfect tits-isn't that romantic? There were some other questions but none were outrageous enough for me to remember-I am blonde after all and in some places eligible for a senior discount. They say that as you get older, the first thing to go is your memory and I will be damned if I can remember the second!

Also, in studio, was Iris. For the 1 or 2 of you who don't know, she is Romaine's better half and, as announced first on the show, her soon to be wife. You betcha. Our Romaine's single days are over for good. They will be tying the knot on the Our Family Cruise with some of Iris's family there and a whole bunch of crazy Pattersons! Watch out all you cruisers-you are in for it! Please keep a life vest and Sabina at all times-she may go looking for a place to pee and fall overboard! There will be a disco night reception for all the listener's on board to help the new couple celebrate. And, is there a new baby on the way-Iris says she won't carry it (Romaine says she is too much of a pussy to do it!), so, when they decide to hit the sperm bank, our Romaine will be a pregnant bitch on wheels for a second time! Look for that maybe this fall? As for the wedding, will our own Derek Hartley be a bride's maid-we will just half to wait and see, but I bet he looks great in taffeta!

As for other couples, will Dave in Saskatchewan be hooking up with Ryan in Phoenix? Do tell somebody and we want details!

If you are in the area, Derek will be at the Club XS in York, PA, on April 11th. Go check him out and party down!

That's my perspective for this show bitches-until next time, love and hugs - Trucker Patti

1 comment:

  1. I like your perspective Patti!!
    Happy Birthday Romaine oh and George!!!