Thursday's Koffee Klatch was full of fun phone calls like Michelle in SF calling in to say she IS NOT (not that she doesn't try) sleeping with K-Hole, even though their Facebook wall postings make them sound like Ellen and Portia (or Anne Heche). Kristen herself called in and it seems like she was asking Romaine for her permission to have sex with Michelle (I see a Lesbian Drama Part 3 coming soon). We learned that ADD Jeff likes to spank one out from time to time on the Official DNR Chatroom, (I don't see a problem with this because I saw a pic of Jeff on his blog, he's fucking cute!). Mistress Sam made us laugh and laugh by not remembering the plane that crashed in the Hudson River two months ago and thinking Jeffrey and Dean, two callers that had not called in for two years were Olympic Ice Dancing Champions Torville and Dean. (420? Anyone). Then Derek went on a dial tone spree dispatching Ray in Philly for asking for them to become The Frank DeCaro Show, Trucker Sharon was set free by Romaine, and then Jeff in GA earned the dial tone, just for fun (isn't that the best).
The second hour of the show was all about cars, The Bitches were joined on the phone by Chris Borroni-Bird, the Director of Advanced Technology Vehicle Concepts for General Motors. He talked (with a British accent, yum) about the new Chevy Volt and the GM and Segway's concept PUMA, two very fuel efficient vehicles that are upcoming from GM (too bad neither one will be affordable to the average person). Then Joe & Joe from GayWheels.com were in studio talking about the results of their GLBT Automotive Survey. Toyota and Saab (too bad they're going out of business) top this list along with Subaru (go figure), Volkswagen, Audi and Scion. I personally found out reading the survey that my last 5 cars were all from companies that aren't gay friendly. We had some great calls talking about everything from Hydrogen Fuel Vehicles to the best car for a 6'7" bottom.
In the third hour Derek talked about these pictures of horses with hair extensions that he saw on Andy Towle's blog Towleroad.com then we had some strange and fun gay problems for the What's Your Gay Problem segment. Jim from Indy wrote in to say that he has an out and proud gay son that is very unruly and throws a hissy fit if his dad tries to talk to him during American Idol or Chelsea Lately, he always wants money, is disrespectful and threatens to either cut his dad's throat or pull the plug in the future. Derek's advice was to assert his authority, mine is to bend that little fag over your knee and show him what it's like to be a toddler with his ass on fire. (and not in the good way). Scott called in with a problem, he picked up a hot guy, rimming his ass for hours and ended up with an infection (hepatitis anyone?), that sent Romaine into telling us that her brother Sabin also enjoys rimming and ended up with two parasites from eating a guys ass. Joan in MS called in to The Bitches to ask if she should come out while her conservative parents are paying for medical school, their advice was to sit tight and at graduation, hug her parents and say "I'm a lesbian, a big one". Jason in VA got in trouble at work for saying his fax number ended in NUTS (6887) and tried to blame Derek, and finally, Ryan in CT called in to plug is listener profile that I am doing for tomorrow (shameless whore) and to unintelligibly (Mistress Sam's description) complain about Pedro, Starbucks and Canada (whatever the hell that means) it was just good ol' Bi Polar Ryan.
Former Queer Eye For The Straight Guy, Jai Rodriguez was supposed to talk to The Bitches to talk about his Animal Planet reality TV Show, Groomer Has It and it's upcoming second season, but had crappy cell phone service, so I'll plug it for him here.
In the Happy Hour there was a lot of talk about shit. Derek changed his constitutional, Romaine takes her dumps at night, ADD Jeff goes in the morning and before bed, it was disturbing, and of course, this started a flood of calls about coffee enemas and good bowel health, and also led to Tammy calling in requesting Poopin' In The Shower, which The Bitches obliged with the recorded version. After the first break, we were treated to a classic moment of Derek and Romaine for the 6th anniversary month, the clip was from 2006 and was former intern Crisco licking Dr. Victoria Z's dominatrix stilettos. It looked like it was going to be a nice and easy ending to the show when calls got scary. First we had our own former contributor here on the show blog G.M. in Philly showing his ass to the world, calling The Bitches "two-faced" and complaining they wouldn't put him on air during Romaine's birthday to sing for her. It was really sad, there's not much to say other than that. I was aware that there was some drama going on with him last week when the anti-DNR website and blog and the multiple negative Facebook postings were swirling around. The next day I noticed that he was deleted as a contributor here on the site and I started hearing some things from the grapevine that he was full-on stalker. This is a good example as to why Derek and Romaine have the rules. Sad people with no lives become obsessed with actors, singers, politicians, and yes, even gay radio show hosts. SAD! Then there was Mark in Minneapolis who couldn't bother listening for the CHHHH sound to let him know he could talk, instead he was a douche and sat in silence wasting much of the last few seconds of the show because he was mislabeled Mark in Indianapolis, Damn, with all the noise in the background when Sam, Greg or an intern takes a call there are going to be some mistakes, get over it and DON'T BE SO SENSITIVE!!. Last Call was our beloved Stanton in Austin asking for his very own hang up button for freaks like GM in Philly. Damn Stanton, wasn't getting a dedicated number enough? Next you'll be asking for Derek's job.
Well, that's it bitches, the end of the show, Derek and Romaine have a three day weekend this week to enjoy the Easter Holiday, so there won't be a show tomorrow, but you can look forward to my first Listener Profile of Ryan of CT and you can see what a truly hot mess he really is.
Good Night Bitches.